Not love

I fall in love with people before I even get to know them. I fall in love with the idea of being with them, the prospect of happiness. I fall for their crooked smile and the way their hair looks when they get out of bed in the morning. I fall for their words, their contentedness with life in that very moment. I fall for what could be, for the shell of a person and the personality I’ve created in my mind. I fall for the nonexistent and I fall hard. I linger on the thought of love while listening to raindrops hit the sidewalk. I’m in love with someone I don’t even know.


As I drove past the rolling  green and brown hills of the Palouse today I had an interesting thought, I could literally travel to any point in the continental United States by simply getting in my car and driving. Thousands of different cities and parks that I have access to 24 hours a day. It’s a daunting thought,  a few hundred years ago the average person would have dreamed of leaving their town let alone traveling across the country. They couldn’t do it even if they wanted to, there were no cars, no roads, and it was extremely dangerous. I love sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window, and watching the electrical phone lines pass by. They swoop up and down never seeming to end and just behind them a beautiful landscape. I could sit and watch that for hours, perfectly serene and happy.

Anyone could pack their bags and just go, anywhere. Yet no one does. It would be so easy so very easy and we just sit on our couches complaining about this town. The world is so big and vast go explore it. No one is forcing you to stay, it’s your life do what you want. I know it sounds cliche but when you are 80 years old sitting on your front porch watching the birds play you are going to be wishing you had gone on that road trip to see the grand canyon, you are going to regret not floating down the Mississippi, you are going to be angry and frustrated that you didn’t once sleep under nothing but the stars.